Johnny Keyes and the Swing Killers
By The CajWeekly news magazine Feng Shui News recently conducted an interview with the new phenom Johnny Keys of Johnny Keys and the Swing Killers. Here's a transcript of the first interview…
- FSN (Feng Shui News)
- So… Johnny Keys and the Swing Killers. The name just evokes an image of some serious hard-rocking swing music, doesn't it? How'd you come up with the name?
- JK (Johnny Keys)
- Oh geez. Well, Keys… that's my name, of course, and the rest of the gang, well… gosh, I guess you could just say that's what we do… We swing. We kill.
- FSN
- Metaphorically speaking, right?
- JK
- (Laughs) Oh… yeah, yeah. Metaphorically. (Laughs again)
- FSN
- So, any plans for a big tour now that you've hit the big time?
- JK
- Oh, no, we don't really have an agenda. We're just kinda sittin' around, doin' our thing until somebody needs us. Then we show up just in time to save the day, y'know? It's a swing thing, daddy-o. (At this point, several band members show up at the club and begin setting up the stage.)
- FSN
- Well, let's talk about the band. You've got a lot of heavy hitters, as well as the best of the crop when it comes to new talent, don't you? (In the background, “Kid” Coltrane, the youngest member of the band, goes backflipping past Johnny's chair with Pops Man in pursuit, yelling in Chinese and waving a half-full bottle of Jack Daniels. It actually looks like he's trying to hit the Kid!)
- JK
- (without missing a beat) Oh, you bet. Pops gigged with Benny, Frank, Tommy, Les and all them cats back in the good ol' days, as he calls 'em. When I met him, I knew I wanted him with us. He's the best sax player I've ever heard, and he kicks some serious butt in his own way.
- FSN
- Um, are they OK?
- JK
- Oh, sure. They're just playing around. (With a scream and a string of Chinese obscenities (presumably), Pops has just gone flying through the air and landed on the stage, nearly downing trombone player Casey Renard, who somehow managed to get out of the way…)
- FSN
- They're playing kind of rough aren't they?
- JK
- Well, the Kid does hit pretty hard for a fourteen year old, but Pops can take it. (Apparently true. Pops has already sprung to his feet and run into the bar. What shortly followed was the sound of several cans of beer being opened.)
- FSN
- Uh, yeah. Hey, ummm… should he be drinking this early in the day?
- JK
- (looks at his watch and shrugs) It's late afternoon in Hong Kong… He'll be fine.(Pops comes charging over the bar, literally foaming at the mouth and chases after the Kid again, who is laughing wildly. It's getting a little hard to hear…)
- FSN
- Well, if you say so…
- (The Kid now is imitating Pops' flight through the air, although this time it looks as if he's going to hit the drum set. Fortunately, his downward arc is halted by the appearance of the band's enormous bass player, Chicago Joe, who is already in his trademark ape mask. With one hand, he catches the Kid without even seeming to exert any effort.)
- CJ (Chicago Joe)
- Watch the drums.
- (With the other hand, he lifts the drum set (Yes the set) and proceeds to throw the Kid down to the spot where he would have landed.)
- JK
- Heh heh… That Joe. What a kidder…
- FSN
- He sure is mighty strong.
- JK
- And mighty young. (Roars with laughter) He's Mighty Joe Young! (Continues laughing.) (Everyone stops to look at him. He's the only one laughing.)
- JK
- (Stops laughing) Ahem. Well, I thought it was funny. You okay back there, Joe?
- CJ
- (shrugs)
- FSN
- Well, anyway, what about Joe? Why the mask and the ape suit?
- JK
- The what? Oh, the suit. The suit, yeah. Uhhh… Hey Joe! Why the suit?
- CJ
- Lucasfilm.
- JK
- There.
- FSN
- Oh.
- (Jenny Deuce and South Street Benny have finally arrived.)
- JK
- Ah, the salt and pepper twins. (Jenny is blonde and Benny is a brunette.) What's shaking, girls?
- JD (Jenny Deuce)
- (Frowning) Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. (Her frown turns to a smile and she gives Johnny a hug.)
- JK
- (laughing) She's all woman. What's the haps, Bernadette?
- SSB (South Street Benny)
- Eggs on toast, boss. (Benny runs off, looking for breakfast while Jenny is vainly trying to get Chicago Joe to put down the drum set he is still holding one handed in the air.)
- JD
- Joe! Hey, Joe! (Chicago Joe, unresponsive, has actually stopped moving and is starting to look like a hirsute Statue of Liberty.)
- JD
- Johnny! Joe's froze up again!
- JK
- Hit the reset button, but stand back when he snaps to. He gets grumpy.
- JD
- But my drums!
- JK
- Just catch 'em. Don't worry about this…(Interviewer's note: I think he was talking about me…)
- JK
- The… the suit is a little dodgy sometimes. It's okay. (There's a tap on my shoulder and I turn to see the group's lead vocalist, Dead Bob, who has apparently just snuck up on me.)
- DB (Dead Bob)
- Boo-yeah. (There's a crash and the sound of ripping clothing. When I turn back around, Chicago Joe is holding his head and the drum set is back on the ground, and Jenny is trying to fix a rip in her T shirt.)
- FSN
- What did I miss…?
- JK
- Hey, Bob. You look like death warmed over! (chuckles)
- DB
- Dead right. But that's another story. The… ah… the stunt team is on it's way, eta about 2 minutes.
- FSN
- Stunt team?
- JK
- Oh, yeah… ummm… we're choreographing a new number. That's what all these shenanigans are all about. How are they dressed, Bob?
- DB
- It's the ninja stunt team, Johnny.
- JK
- Ah. I see. Well, I'm going to have to cut this interview short; Union rules, y'know. We start as soon as they get here and get it done as fast as possible. That way we don't have to pay them as much. Come back tomorrow and we'll finish the interview, OK?
- FSN
- All right then. Mr Keys, thank you for your time.
- JK
- Just Johnny. And keep swingin'.
- FSN
- You bet.
End of interview. Johnny and Bob walked away talking about “site energy” which I must assume had to do with the club's electrical system or something, but I didn't get a chance to ask because right then, some ninjas came crashing through the windows (fake glass, I guess) and they began their rehearsal. I did go back the next day to finish the interview, the transcript of which will appear in the next issue of Feng Shui News, along with some commentary on their rehearsed fight, which I was fortunate enough to witness. Until then…
Johnny Keys and the Swing Killers
Consider all members to have Info/Jazz and Swing Music 15 and Swing Dancing 11, unless stated otherwise. Also, consider all instruments to be Signature Items (sic). This means that, although they do NOT use their instruments as weapons (generally), they always have them (or a reasonable substitute) handy to break into a snappy swing number at the drop of a porkpie hat.
Johnny Keys — Pianist, Killer
- Attributes
- Body 7, Chi 1 (For 4, Fu 4), Mind 7 (Cha 10), Ref 9 (Dex 10).
- Skills
- Guns 15, Driving 13, Deceit, Leadership, Seduction 12.
- Gun Schticks
- Signature Weapon: Colt 1911A, Lightning Reload x 3, Fast Draw.
- Fu Schticks
- Natural Order, Friend of Darkness.
Johnny Keys used to be a hired assassin named Johnny Death. He was one of the best (of course) but eventually became jaded and tired of the killing. Disillusioned and seeking purpose, his wanderings soon brought him to a nightclub bordering the Netherworld called Duke's Place. He met the owner, an ex-Gambler named “Duke” Eddington, who converted him to the gospel that is jazz. Duke nurtured the amateur pianist in Johnny until Johnny could play as well as he could shoot. The ex-gambler and the ex-killer re-energized each other's lives: Duke finally had someone to pass his knowledge on to and Johnny re-learned the value of life — his and others. Then, from the wanderers and nomads that travelled through Duke's Place in search of the Meaning of Life and Really Good Jazz, he was able to recruit a group that could not only kick some serious ass, but could also kick some serious jazz. They all share the same ideals, that of protecting the weak, helping the helpless, befriending the friendless and defeating the… defeatless. They are the Good Guys in every sense of the word. The only ones who have anything to fear are the evildoers and the music-haters, although not neccessarily in that order.
Jenny Deuce — Drummer, Supernatural Creature
Stats are Human Form / Creature Form
- Attributes
- Body 6/10, Chi 0 (Fu 2, Mag 8), Mind 6 (Cha 8), Ref 10/6.
- Skills
- Creature Powers 15, Martial Arts (Brawling variant) 14/10, Intimidation 12.
- Creature Power Schticks
- Transformation: Human: Female, 5' 7", Blonde girl-next-door type (with ponytail and everything). Hulkish: 8', Cross between the Hulk and the Beast Gender nonspecific, Cha goes to 6. Regeneration x 2, Conditional Escalation: +1 Ref when she takes 10 wound points from 1 att., Inevitable Comback.
- Fu Schticks
- Hands Without Shadow.
What's a girl to do when she can transform into an 8 foot tall blue furry beastie that might not even be female?
Anything she wants to.
Jenny's a 21 year old gymnast and drummer with an old soul. Really. Seems she inheirited an ancestral curse that made the subject turn into a monster when angered or excited (which made it very hard to get dates, mind you.).However, over time, the power of the curse waned and perhaps due to her pure innocence, she finds that not only can she control the transformations, she also retains her intelligence in both forms, although her attitude gets ramped up a couple of notches when she Hulks out. She thinks that this is an opportunity to break the curse by using its power for good and that's exactly what she's going to do, gosh darn it.
Her combat style is extremely alarming to her friends and allies because she will deliberately put herself into the thickest fighting until she has taken enough damage to boost her Ref to butt-kicking levels in the Hulked-out form. Sure, she will eventually heal it, but only if it doesn't outright kill her.
Oh, she's also got a really big crush on Johnny, which he's trying his best to ignore. (Not an easy task considering that Jenny's normally a bouncy (Hm. Bad word…) …spunky, cute blonde gal.)
Dead Bob — Lead Vocals, Ghost
- Attributes
- Body 7; Chi 0 (Mag 7), Mind 7 (Cha 8), Ref 7.
- Skills
- Creature Powers 14, Sorcery 13, Seduction 14 (The dead move fast!).
- Creature Power Schticks
- Insubstantial, Regeneration, Inevitable Comeback x 2.
- Sorcery Schticks
- Influence, Movement, Summoning.
Ironically enough, Bob was one of Johnny's victims in the past. Johnny's bullet put an end to Bob's quickly rising career, but Bob's spirit refused to submit to the afterlife. He eventually adjusted to his undead life, retreated into relative solitude and continued to hone his singing and his music, since it was all he had left. He also discovered the Secret War and people who needed his help.
Years later, the reformed Johnny found him and begged his forgiveness. Suppressing the instinct to kill his assassin, Bob looked past his anger and saw the repentant soul before him and forgave him. Johnny then asked Bob to accompany him to Duke's Place for a surprise. At the club, Bob discovered that his records had become a posthumous smash hit. As is so common when an artist dies, his work became critically acclaimed and Bob found himself a bigger star dead than when alive. Curiously, he found Johnny Keys the man to blame and to thank. They decided to stage a return concert (since his death had been ruled mysterious and unsolved) and thus, the (Un)living Legend Dead Bob was the first recruit into the Swing Killers.
Man Tam a.k.a. Pops — Ummm… Drunken Old Master Sax Player?
- Attributes
- Body 5, Chi 10 (For 3), Mind 6, Ref 8.
- Skills
- Martial Arts 16, Leadership 8, Info/Pop Psychology and Eastern Philosophy 13, Info/Origami and Chinese Poetry 10.
- Fu Schticks
- Drunken Stance, Drunken Fist, Wily Stupor, Aberrant Spasm, Spasmodic Leap, Signature Weapon: Whiskey Bottle (Str + 2 + 3 = 10).
- Unique Schticks
- +6 dam with Punch/Kick.
With a career spanning several decades and uncounted gigs with all the greats, Pops last gig happened to be the one where (the living) Dead Bob went to the bathroom and never came back. He found himself unemployed and broke in Hong Kong. Never one to let that dissuade him, he began again in seedy bars and backstreet speakeasys until he found himself doing more drinking than playing. Realizing his predicament, he halted his downward spiral and went on the wagon.
Casey “Slide” Renard — Trombone Player, Transformed Fox
- Attributes
- Body 5, Chi 7 (For 5), Mind 8 (Will 4), Ref 8 (Agl 9).
- Skills
- Martial Arts 14, Guns 13, Intrusion 12, Detective 11.
- Transformed Animal Schticks
- Embezzle, Swindle: Fu.
- Creature Powers Schticks
- Sorcery (D'Oh!).
Of all the Swing Killers, no one has a past more shrouded in mystery than Casey “Slide” Renard. He's the most low key member of the band, and the least forthcoming about his past. He joined the band simply by showing up at one of their gigs and telling Johnny that he needed a horn player. He then proceeded to prove himself, first by playing like a pro, and then immediately afterwards when a team of Pledged hitmen got the drop on everyone in the band. Everyone, that is, except Casey. Johnny and Casey had a little talk shortly after the fracas, and although no one knows what was said, Casey came out of the discussion a full member of the band.
“Kid” Coltrane — Trumpet Player, Scrappy Kid
- Attributes
- Body 4, Chi 7, Mind 8, Ref 9.
- Skills
- Martial Arts 13, Intrusion 10, Deceit 10, Info/Swing Dancing and Computers 12, Info/Action Movies and Club Scene 11.
- Fu Schticks
- Crane Stance, Wing of the Crane, Unique Distract, Unique Dodge.
No one know where the Kid came from. Johnny found him hanging out behind Duke's place waiting for him after a show one night and befriended the boy. He soon discovered that the Kid was a pistol with a trumpet and let him begin playing with the band. After an altercation one night involving Vampire Hookers (Don't ask), they discovered that the Kid could very much take care of himself, as well. He has become the de facto mascot for the group, as well as a good point man and scout for the more… clandestine gigs.
Chicago Joe — String Bass Player, Cyber Ape
- Attributes
- Body 12 (Str 14, Tgh 13), Chi 0, Mind 6, Ref 6.
- Skills
- Guns 13, Jammertech 13, Martial Arts 11, Intimidation 12.
- Hardware Schticks
- Cyborg Conversion: Super Leap: 3 x Mov, Internal Radar, Grapple Arm Signature.
- Weapon
- Buro Hellharrower (!) (Hidden in Bass case false bottom) 14 (+3)/8/20 (a.k.a. The Oh Sh!t gun).
Chicago Joe and a Jammer Burn Unit attacked Duke's place one night simply to… let's see… how do Jammers put it? oh yeah… BLOW THINGS UP! Their attack, though chaotic and disorganized, was unstoppable until they finally burst into the lounge, where the lone Johnny sat, playing some quiet blues on the piano. Johnny knew the adage “Music hath charms to soothe the savage beast” and he proved it that night, stopping the Jammer attack without firing a shot. When he finished his number, Chicago Joe (back then known as Jammer Joe) and 16 assorted cyber-apes and Jammers sat quietly at the tables, ordering drinks and helping clean the place up. Joe, more intelligent than the rest, began talking with Johnny and the two struck up a friendship. Like Duke did with him before, Johnny brought out the musician in Joe and soon, Chicago Joe was thumping the bass alongside the rest of the group. Being a former Jammer, though, Joe and Johnny don't always see eye to eye and disagree on methods occasionally, sort of like a Worf/Picard thing, but Johnny is the boss. As for the rest of the Jammer Squad, they now wait tables, clean up, work as bouncers and generally live nice, only neccessarily violent lives, something the Jammers in general have not completely forgiven Johnny for.
South Street Benny — Guitar Player, Everywoman hero
- Attributes
- Body 5, Chi 0 (For 10), Mind 7 (Cha 9), Ref 7 (Dex 8).
- Skills
- Driving 12, Guns 11, Martial Arts 12, Seduction 12, Info/Swing Dancing 14, Info/High Society 11, Info/Criminal Underground 11.
- Unique Schticks
- Unique #1/Fortune Checks, Unique #2/+1 AV with Improvised Weapons.
A few months back, Johnny got into a running gun battle with some Buro cops who got a little uppity in a South Street bar in Atlantic City. Johnny was a little outnumbered (12 to 1) and might have gotten himself shot if not for the intervention of one of the hostesses named Bernadette, who bopped three Buro agents with a serving tray, thrown frisbee style. Unfortunately, they landed on her boss at the time and when the smoke cleared, she was subsequently released from employment. Always one to pay a debt, Johnny got her a job at Duke's, doing the same thing. Time after time proving herself able to handle most opposition, Benny (as everyone calls her) auditioned for and won the spot as guitarist for Johnny's band. Johnny calls her Bernadette and is the only one who can call her that without getting his tonsils handed back to him. Benny's a tough guy and probably has more balls than most men.
Eddie “Duke” Eddington — Manager, Former Gambler
- Attributes
- Body 5, Chi 3 (For 9), Mind 9, Ref 7 (Spd 9).
- Skills
- Gambling 15, Guns 13, Martial Arts 11, Seduction 13, Shaping 12, Info/Jazz and Swing Music 16, Info/Managerial Skills 14.
- Fu Schticks
- Gambling Fu (Once again, see Bryant Durrell's site) (See Path of the Fortune's Fool, following.) Lucky Duck, Snake Eyes, Sore Loser, High Roller, Lucky Strike.
Dunk used to be one of the greats, but dropped out to open his own place. He got tired of the endless hustle and wanted to just provide a place where the gin was cold and the piano hot. That was yeas ago and Duke's Place has now become a Mecca of sorts to anyone in the know about Jazz and Swing. He also funds occasional Secret War activities when critical shifts threaten to eliminate things such as jazz and bars. This brings him into conflict with practically all the factions, Hand, Lotus, and Architects, whose specific agendas will probably not include a place for things like jazz. He has had few dealings with the Ascended (that he knows of), but the Jammers used to drop by infrequently to destroy stuff. Not anymore, since the conversion of Chicago Bob.
Path of the Fortune's Fool
This “Fu” path can be taken by anyone with a Fotune Stat. Where “Chi” is listed as a cost, Fortune may be substituted and Fu may not. Fortune points are spent (temporarily) just like Chi/Fu in respect to Fu powers.
Lucky Duck: Chi1, Shot 1
+5 Dodge vs opponents with lower Fortune Stat. Counts as a defensive action.
Snake Eyes: Chi 1, Shot 2
Spend 2 shots sizing up an opponent. For the next sequence, all attacks you make against him are at +2 AV.
Sore Loser: Chi 3, Shot 1
Use only after initiative has been rolled on your first shot. Spend 1 shot taunting all opponents whom you beat in initiative. For that sequence, all their attacks against you are at −3 AV.
High Roller: Chi 7, Shot 5
Make an attack using either Martial Arts of Gambling AV. If successful, you may immediately make another attack at 0 shot cost, etc, etc, etc. See Flying Windmill Kick.
Lucky Strike: Chi X, Shot 3
Add +X to the AV of any Martial Arts attack.